if only i was there

he's not well for the past few weeks..he had a fever and said that his neck is somehow ache and swell..but he said it's taken care of..when i was back at home..he pretend like nothing's happen..pretend tat he's ok..he's well enough to take me anywhere i want to go..even until late at nite..when the facts is he has a business to run early the nex morning..i believe him..if he said so..but i dont know wat happen..the moments i was back in UTP, he got a fever again..tis tyme is worst.. can't even get out of bed..so the sis bring him to the clinic n he was given some meds and the dr ask him to come again if the neck worsen..they'll refer him to the hospital..and there he was..getting well again..the swell's got better n the fever 's gone.. It was monday n i told him that by friday if it's worsen, tell me so that i can get my tix back home..i'll take him to the hospital n take care of him the way he took care of me when I've been warded..but till friday,, he said he was ok..ething is fine..he even went to play futsal on tat friday nyte..and then on sat morning,,he said the fever came back and the neck start to ache again..he's been sleeping the whole day..which is a bad sign ..After a series of forcing, refusing and delaying, he finally when back to the clinic just a moment ago,,and the worst thing on my mind happen..he's been warded!toniyte!at 12 am on saturday nyte..in which 2morrow is sunday and the next day aft 2morrow is monday and in which i have to work!and tat mean i can't possibly going back to JB to look after him! I told u so..tell me if anyting happen so tat i can be back to bring u to the hospital,,and now i was here alone wondering wat happen u 2 there and the best i can do is just crying over my pillow!GOD..i hate the thought of being alone when i know where i suppose to be... ='(
i know he'll be fine..he'll be good..both the sisters were there taken care of everything..but i want to be there..i want to be by his side esp in tymes like this..i know he needs me there..he's been texting n calling me telling how he wish i was there!..arghhh..i hate it when i can do nothing..

if only i was there~~ ='(